Crackling...

My intention was to post a post about space, something about the human urge to explore and spread. I meant for you to understand my fantasies about the universe and how I would like to see humans colonize it. It would be a beautiful text describing travel through nebulas, and between solar systems and planets. How trade and struggle would allow us to live in a time that quite accurately could be compared with the sea faring during 16th through 19th century.

But I buried that idea somewhere easy accessible for future use.

I really don’t want to write about football to the same extent as I have these last posts, but I have to because it has left such an ugly and heavy mark upon my soul. The club responsible for the heavy chains, lifted some, if not all of the stones linked to the chains up yesterday. A liberating 0 – 2 victory over the arch rivals AIK could perhaps be the leverage needed to carry the stones to the blacksmith for removal.

And I wasn’t even supposed to have gone to the game…

A gentle soul found and returned a lost ticket yesterday to work and since no one claimed it I wouldn’t let it go to waste, and today it would be waste. So, after work I went and sold the ticket for about half its price and bought another one, one that would place me among friends. I also bought a very nice scarf…

The ticket let me see the most beautiful display of football I’ve ever seen Hammarby produce. “Bajen” totally annihilated AIK during the first half. Discipline secured the victory during the second. I’m so glad I witnessed it.
Perhaps the next game will provide sufficient strength and energy to have the blacksmith remove the last shackles of my soul.

Digitus impudicus...

A gesture I actually would like to be able to use more often is “the finger”. I would love to be in a situation where I could "flip the bird" once more. I can't recollect when I last used it; I mean really used it. I imagine I use it quite often at football games, but the judge who often is the intended target hasn't as of yet, and for obvious reasons, seen me giving it. I also, even more pathetically, use it when I feel aggravated in front of the TV.

I would however much more like to give it up front to a person. I think I would like that very much, to recapture the times when we as kids walked around giving it to all and everybody. I imagine it would feel liberating, in an obnoxious and rebellious kind of way. I guess, actually, that what it really comes down to is that you, from time to time, feel the want to be a kid again.

I started thinking about "the finger" when I saw one of the top politicians in Sweden, Lars Ohly, giving it to a political adversary on a morning show a few days ago. Watch the clip here. Even though I’m no big fan of Lars Ohly (he’s a damn communist what ever he nowadays says) I felt that it was quite funny of him, in a very immature and stupid way, to give the finger on live TV.

The thing about giving the finger is that it’s somewhere between a minor and major insult. It’s somewhere between getting neglected and receiving a fist to the jaw. It’s severe, but not severe enough to cause you harm. And it can be done silently.
I do it like the kid almost exclusively at football games; just as the little kid a two posts ago.

Hmm...ok?

I'm still at school...

One step outside its doors provided me with an invitation right back inside again. At least its full time and the pay is somewhat descent. I'm still clinging on to the hopes and dreams I barely see at the horizon.

But it felt strange the day I left my previous job, a job I have had for a very long time and one always justified by the notion that it's only extra, a good job while I was studying. I can't say that now. Somehow I have to justify this new job in some other way.

I usually just use fact that it's a harch time for academics in Sweden right now, and that you have to take the work offered to you. But I'm sick of all the excuses.


I've recovered from the blow to my identity and pride last week, even though it will take a very long time for Bajen to prove its worth again. A win on Sunday would help a bunch though.

This became another very short post, but I'm getting there.